Saturday, June 25, 2016


In and out, left and right I steered it and then took a sharp left turn. Damn! A dead end. A dead end! I am done for. I took the wrong turn. I had made a mistake. I curse myself. I drive the bike with greater speed, I drive it through the wall...I die.

Shocked by my dream?

It is not shocking if you juxtapose this dream to a real life situation. Isn't life very similar to driving a vehicle on the roads of life. It may be a two or four wheeler, depending on your "vasadi " which is in Tamil and the closest in meaning to "your capability".

We make many choices in life and we take our turns and swerve here and there. Sometimes the route we take leads us to a dead end and then what do we do? Do we curse ourselves and turn around or do we curse ourselves and drive through the wall?

I really feel the culprit to all of this is the word "Failure"

When we reach a dead end, we just need to take a U turn and retrace our steps to a point that brings us back to where we took the turn in the first place. Then we need to work on another route.
Yet what most youngsters do is call it a "Failure" (and I blame this labelling entirely on Parents, Family, Community and Society at large), and throw themselves harder at the wall in front of them and die in the process, literally or emotionally.

Let us delete this word Failure from our vocabulary now. Let us not label any choice as a failure.
Let us call it a Dead End. Let us make other choices that will lead us where we may want to go. If that doesn't lead you there then that's another dead end. Go elsewhere.

Let us start now to rewrite a Language that does not use the word Failure and its many connotations.


This post is inspired by a story I read about Kentucky Fried Chicken's founder Colonel Sanders who became successful only after the age of 60, till then he had tried and "failed" at many enterprises.

Saturday, April 23, 2016

Arranged Marriage ~ a Short story

She entered the room. A heady smell of incense wafted towards her. The bed hung heavy with rows of jasmine and rose. Her eyes scanned the room for a glimpse of her husband. He was not there and the moment of solitude made her strangely happy. She walked to the bed and sat down with a deep sigh. Her feet ached with all the standing and her jaw hurt from all the smiling. She rubbed her feet and neck tiredly.

Theirs was an arranged marriage and she had met him just once before the wedding. She was nervous and apprehensive at what to expect on her first night. Mother had been vague and evasive to her questions. The only other married girl amongst her friends had rolled her eyes and told her not to think too much but to just grin and bear it.

“Whatever that means” she thought as she stretched out her hand and plumped the pillow. It beckoned to her to test it out. She laid down her heavily ornamented head into its softness and let herself sink blissfully into its folds. Her eyes drifted close without the slightest hesitation…

She sat up with a start, disoriented and forcing her eyes to adjust to the darkness. Her eyes scanned the room and finally landed on the figure lying next to her. It felt so strange to share a bed with a man! As her eyes adjusted to the lack of light, she saw his eyes on her.

“Why did you not wake me up?” she asked.

“And miss the chance to see you sleep so sweetly?” he said.

That was the start of a conversation filled night she would never forget. This arranged marriage soon filled with deep communication, respect and love.  

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Stories that Empower - the other story

Ammi midiththu, Arundhati parththu is a saying that is part of the Tamil marriage culture. Arundhati was the wife of Sage Vasishta and meant to be the epitome of pativrata. Traditionally most women like my Grandmother would idolize this role and play their part to the "t", even eating off the same plate!
I wanted to know more about Arundhati and I found a very learned woman who could coach her husband when he had no answers (thats pretty normal and true in most cases!). Yet the story that is amazing here is connected to my opening words...
At the wedding ceremony couples are asked to observe the double stars of Arundhati and Vasishta, (Alcor & Mizar in the Ursa Major constellation). Both these are binary stars visible to the sharp eyes. You would believe couples are asked to look at these stars to signify the union should be like the mythological characters - pure and perfect. Nope, that's not it.

The real reason behind it is that these stars display a unique behaviour. They rotate independently
(unlike other stars) and also revolve around each other. Alcor is a bi-star and Mizar is a quadrupule star. So this amazing star behaviour was understood by astronomers thousands of years ago and the rituals asked you to look at these symbols, so that you too would emulate. Be independent in your union and also interdependent. Learn from nature!

Wow! Mind blown to know the kind of knowledge that existed.