Marriage Musings

Life was going pretty smoothly, cruising along, when I was thrown a curve ball. Husband posted to Delhi and I am staying back to look after kids, career and interests....

This is something I wanted..aka..not exactly what I wanted...but..the universe chooses to give you what you want, but you cannot control How you get it. (If you have read Monkey's Paw by WW. Jacobs, you will get the flow of my thoughts and feelings).

Last month or a month before that I was telling my Husband; I wished to experience staying alone, being responsible for myself and not happily passing the buck /cup of responsibility to an ever obliging spouse.

The Universe decided to do as I said! 

I envisioned myself...living alone in a beautiful cottage perhaps on a hill station, working for myself and being completely in charge of myself and my life. (yes, too many movies and books, my imagination is more than a bit over board on such things)

Reality is: Government quarters, 2 kids, a car and a maid. Responsibility is now managing all our emotions, managing the physical needs, shopping for groceries, uninspired cooking, lackadaisical cleaning and of course pursuing a job. Plus trying not to fall into a boring routine, having exciting options lined up for the Sunday and trying to do it with a smile. 

Marriage has now taken on a new meaning for me.

It is time to read Philosophy....and here is what I came across;

“Let there be spaces in your togetherness,

 And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

 Love one another but make not a bond of love: 

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. 

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. 

Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.

 Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,

 Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music

 Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. 

For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.

And stand together, yet not too near together: 

For the pillars of the temple stand apart,

 And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.” 

― Khalil Gibran, The Prophet

How profound these words sound to me and wish I had practiced it from much before. So this Cypress tree has to learn to grow outside the shadow of the Oak.... 

Hmm...as we are Indian I should perhaps say: 

Let the GulMohur tree grow outside the shadow of the Peepal tree

Om Shanthi. Shanthi. Shantihi....

PS: Please note the choice of trees...I do see myself as the Flame of the Forest and my Husband as the Bodhi Tree

....the rest I leave to your imagination

~ssstoryteller~