SOULTales - Character Strengths, Stories & Vocabulary

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Why things happen the way they do??

I am really bugged and irritated. Why is it that whenever I expect something I am disappointed?
I believe He gives every one a fair share of negatives and positives. In that I have been given an overdose of tolerance and patience.How I detest being known as the patient one( though this status did change moderately post marriage), that aspect of me (impatience) was reserved for my family to see. So for the general public, I was still the "Patient one".
Can I get it exchanged? Please tell me where I can borrow and internalise some intolerance and kick ass attitude...
I want to scream and shout and yell and hit. Why should I bear stoic face and say that it doesn't matter and there must be a logical valid reason, why? why???
Ok that feels better...
The feeling for all this came from this:
I volunteered to do a puppet show, for the Ladies Club, as it was Navarathri time and I have this nice story on Mahishasuramardhini. So far so good. As the date of the show neared, I fell ill and did not feel upto doing the show, which required some practice with another person. Well, before that I must say that the script had to be translated into Hindi, but I found a willing and capable person for that, who was also willing to give the voice over for that.
We practiced for just 2 days. And I had to get my puppets online too..They were stick puppets and what with our moving and transfer, some puppets were quite damaged and I had to make new ones. Some other puppets I found would be too small for the large stage on which the show was to be done, so I had to enlarge the puppets. Quite a bit of work, but pleasurable, and not too time consuming I must say..

The rehearsal went well and with minor hitches, when the power went off , the Show on the final day also went off very well. Everyone appreciated the uniqueness of the programme...I was elated and floating...after all I tell children, and even when adults enjoy it, it makes one feel great....

The problem is when I went to get the photos, so that I could blog about it...

I couldn't believe that the cameraman had not taken even one snap of the show...??!!
My folly was not having someone take snaps with my camera, I just assumed as this was a show in the unit, I would be able to take the snaps from them.
Why? What Happened? Did the cameraman have a fainting spell and fall down flat when my programme was on, only to recover immediately after and take snaps of every person alive there?? Was he so bored/uninterested/disgusted/apathetic to my show, he could not take pictures of it? What the h*** happened?
I was and am furious.
The feelings that swell from inside me is inexplicable. I may be over reacting. I do and I will, I don't care.
But is this fair?...

The worst feeling in life is when you go with expectation, and it is totally annihilated in a moments turn of events. That is the worst feeling.

I know I rationalized it, calmed myself down, talked to myself, told my husband to give the camera guy a piece of his mind( he is from Hubby's unit).
Yet...a disappointment will be a disappointment..and I feel cheated, after all I wanted a few measly snaps to feel good for myself, and why am I being denied that?...
Sometimes I feel most things happen this way with me...

I know I am feeling sorry for myself, please bear with me...after all where else can I pour my heart out...and indulge myself in a little bit of misery. I can only do it in words, cos my public image demands I be patient and tolerant and mature about such things...

I will get down to the end of this mystery of "The photos that were not taken"...