storyspace: I wonder why

She was all of 9 years when she came to my class. Bright eyes, short cropped hair, toothy, gummy smile!
It was a small class of four students (only!). A cozy class!! The significant fact was that we are all newcomers. I had just joined school as a teacher; our class was new, especially set up for us. The walls were bare for us to fill, the furniture was new for us to choose and claim as our own. New ideas, new experiences and new relationships!
For Sneha this was her first schooling experience ever, and she was like a kid in a chocolate factory. Fidgety in her chair, eyes eagerly absorbing all the newness. Impatient to do something, wanting to impress!
For a mere one year she came to school, thoroughly enjoying her bus ride from far off Yelahanka. We did some painting, some music, drama, some numbers, alphabets, puzzles. Every day was fun.
“I am glad she is coming to school, It’s her dream” her mother confided in me one day.
“Is it not too far from where you live?” I asked.
“Yes, but there is no other choice. Sneha would do any thing to have this experience.” her mother explained
Almost a year had gone by, and my students were doing well, or so I thought…
Monday morning, school was in full swing when I received a call. Unbelievable, How did this happen, When? (Oh why I ask?)
Sneha is no more, she had passed away in her sleep was the news given to me. Shocked; I could not even offer adequate condolences to her father, on the telephone.
We rushed from school to Yelahanka. Navigating preposterous traffic, narrow lanes and by lanes, we reached her small house.
Sneha laid down on the floor, stone cold, blue. I knelt and touched her; no one else does. But then only I knew her as a warm bubbly child with an eager smile, sitting on her wheelchair, not willing to take any help, wanting to do things on her own.
You see she was a special child
“I’ll hold”, she would say and her uncooperative hand would struggle to grasp the adapted brush and move it with great effort over the paper. Cerebral Palsy was a difficult condition to live with.
“A sound mind in an uncooperative body” is what we say in lay terms. Added to that if you had a twin sister who was “normal”, going to school and dong all the things that you yearned to do, but your body was unwilling to. Then your life seemed extremely unfair. Day after day, Sneha saw her twin sister going to school, walking, talking, climbing, running, dancing. How she did feel, how she did yearn.
They had moved from Mysore, after hearing about the special school that little Sneha could attend. All of them had to adapt to their new lifestyle, so that Sneha could finally go to school.
The joy she felt in packing a school bag, books, snacks box, water bottle. Wearing a uniform, shoes, and socks was unabounded. She was going to school! She was proud and happy. It was now her time to show off, to her sister and parents. She could talk about her teacher, classmates, birthdays and special treats!
Yet Sneha’s happiness, lasted only a year.
I hoped she would go on to achieve great things in her life. I felt she would be the role model for others with disability, like her. She was such a positive person, cheerful and assertive,strong willed and independent.
Why did this child not live?
Why did she not have the opportunity to live?
I wonder why she came into our lives.
I wonder why she spent such a short time with us.
Was it to teach us to live every day with joy? Was it to show us how to live?
I can only console myself with the thought that at least her dream came true, even if it was only for one year.

Comments

  1. Balaji "bajji" RajanJune 21, 2008 at 5:21 AM

    simple, matter of fact, strong undertone of emotion, keeps the reader flipping pages (or scrolling the mouse!!). Just one stern comment....dont u DARE stop writing!

    ReplyDelete

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