SOULspace

💓💖💕💗💘💛💚💙💜💞💝   Have you ever truly loved? Have you ever looked deeply within and felt your heart expanding to infinity? Have you ever witnessed your heart walking outside? Have you ever hugged a feeling? How is it that no one chooses love? How is it that people shame love and embrace hate? How is it wrong to love but Ok to hate? How is it that this world has not drunk on love enough? What will make us happy to be in love no matter what the outcome? When will we choose love over anything else and be convinced that this is the bestest way? Why do we wait for someone to give us permission to share and show our love? Why are we afraid to trust this amazing love which will surely guide our way? Why do people hide their love and show their hate without any remorse? Why do we believe love weakens while actually it is hate that brings us to our knees? WHERE do we go to LOVE and not hate?   Let me tell you this: Go to Love for Love empowers Go to Love for Love enables Go to Love for

She did not even know she was pregnant. The sudden bleeding was unusual and coming after an epic trekking expedition; she thought it was the stress and strain that had brought on the out pour. The doctor was doubtful and her leading questions came like a bolt at Sanjana. Now she remembered the skipped days and rued her lack of responsibility. Having relocated to a new country just 6 months back and learning to adjust was tough enough. What was tougher was the sense of loneliness and isolation that she was experiencing. It had led Prakash to arrange for her to take this trek; so that she could meet new people and also do something she really loved, be one with nature. Tears poured down her eyes and the Doctor was a bit taken aback at the grief she saw. “Prakash, I just learnt I have lost our baby”, she sobbed into the phone, not explaining head or tail or what had transpired. Concerned at the pain she was feeling, Prakash organised for a friend to bring her back home.

She was all of 9 years when she came to my class. Bright eyes, short cropped hair, toothy, gummy smile! It was a small class of four students (only!). A cozy class!! The significant fact was that we are all newcomers. I had just joined school as a teacher; our class was new, especially set up for us. The walls were bare for us to fill, the furniture was new for us to choose and claim as our own. New ideas, new experiences and new relationships! For Sneha this was her first schooling experience ever, and she was like a kid in a chocolate factory. Fidgety in her chair, eyes eagerly absorbing all the newness. Impatient to do something, wanting to impress! For a mere one year she came to school, thoroughly enjoying her bus ride from far off Yelahanka. We did some painting, some music, drama, some numbers, alphabets, puzzles. Every day was fun. “I am glad she is coming to school, It’s her dream” her mother confided in me one day. “Is it not too far from where you live?” I asked.

It is a typical pilgrimage, by a typical middle class family! Grandfather, Grandmother, Father, Mother, Sister and the ...Tyke. Innumerable pieces of luggage accounted for and handed over to the porter (coolie), who in turn hands it over to the taxi driver (cabbie), every one paid off, everyone taken care of. They reach their destination at great speed. A choultry is found, to serve its purpose. “Rooms are adequate” says Grandfather. “Good we have attached bathrooms” says Father, making use of that convenience immediately!! Grandparents are left in charge of the little ones, as the younger couple go in search of a place to eat. Tired oldies rest. “Don’t go anywhere, play inside” they warn. The twosomes obey blindly….. A game of hide and seek follows, and the two run around as children do. Then, Disaster strikes. The Tyke’s worst fears are realized. The chain she had around her neck now lay broken, into two pieces. Clutching on to the pieces, she stands frozen, imagin

  Diving into the depths of my past, Remembering moments of response, As I navigate a world of my reflected meaning making, I become aware people are always responding: In ways that are not obvious, In ways that you may label as unstable, In silence that speaks loud, In inaction that holds me from exploding, In resistance that makes me fight back in miniscule or mighty ways, In passivity that makes me want to lie down In withdrawal that makes me step back In self sabotage that debilitates me In imposter syndrome and inability to trust myself In body harm and shaming In addictions In deep sadness In ferocious anger In swallowed pride In anger that turns inward In inabilities and self doubt In smiles and people pleasing I also become aware people are always responding In boldness and courage In actions of justice and accountability In kindness and compassion In stepping out of boxes and crossing lines In navigating absolutely new waters with curiosity In musical and poetical musings In m