Never do anything in a relationship out of a sense of obligation. Do whatever you do out of a sense of the glorious opportunity your relationship affords you to decide, and to be, Who You really Are.
Can you feel the impact of these words?
When we don a martyr role, or for that matter victim role, we are constantly telling ourselves we have no choice.
But we do. We have a choice to Be, to Do and to Say, and in the saying being Understood.
The reality in this is changing the want to a have. Take what you want from the world, don't leave it at a wanting, Have it!
Thought- word- deed . You create a thought, express it and follow it up in action.
Oh! How difficult this appears to be for me! Most of the time I have a thought, and I cant find the words to express it let alone follow it through with an action.
Now the author says this is not the only way to do things. Another way is to commit the act, then say the words that you want to have new thoughts about.
Personally this is my greatest challenge. I usually keep my thoughts to myself, especially if I know it is not congruent with what my partner thinks or does. I don't have the same problem when I operate with children, but in most of my adult relationships I have this auto shut down, which keeps what I think to myself.
Now as I start expressing my thoughts, in the manner in which I feel is congruent with my true self. I feel at peace....yet I know this new me does not rest easy with others who see me say and do things, in a way that I have not done before!
I can say I love to celebrate, have fun and party!
I can say I love to be with people!
I can say I am crazy, irrational, emotional!
I can say I have a flaming temper!
I can say I love to blow steam and then bask in its aftermath, to think why or what made me behave in that way.
I can say I don't like to be calm and measured all the time!
I can say I am Peace and Chaos rolled in one!
I can say I love arguments and irrational logic...that's fun to work with. That's why children are fun!
I love the love/hate we have in a relationship! Especially with children....
I love negativity as much as positivity, for in both there is learning. Yet I want to be with positive thoughts always.
I love to have my thinking challenged.
I love to rethink all my thoughts and not rest on any old thought! To reinvent and recreate new thinking every day!
I know that all this to translate into a functional world is my greatest dream and challenge!