Privileged
I look at myself and this journey and I really amaze at how things change, convolute, contort and yet remain, funnily, the same!
I grew up in a suburban Chennai, and went to one of the most elitist schools that the city could boast of. We were an exclusive group, "privileged' is what we were called.
While growing up the difference in lifestyle between school and home was not something we really gave much thought to. But, yes as we reached High school, I would squirm at my grandparents and their old fashioned clothes or traditions. Trying not to reveal much of how we lived at home to school mates, while at the same time trying to fit into a very Yuppie, very westernized peer group. George Michael and Jeans were sacred words that I repeated to myself, trying to understand who and what they were!!
It appears in retrospect that I did myself a very good turn by changing schools for the 11th and 12th grade. I joined another school in order to score better marks, and my parents just went along with me, not having much of an opinion on this at that time. I did do better, and I now know I also did better for myself, as I got a chance to move around with friends who were more similar to me and my back ground than I realised at that time. Paving the way for my "unsnob-itising"!!
College is always a golden period, where one gets a chance to really explore and expand oneself. Again I see that, in retrospect, I moved away from belonging to the "privileged group", to being a face in the crowd, albeit one who wanted to make her mark (well I have always been that). But I was and saw that moving/being with people who were not as fortunate as me, in terms of having a wholesome family life, a very fortunate lifestyle, and generally being provided with whatever I wanted...meant...that they all had to struggle to make choices that would carry them a step ahead of where they already were.
But then I never had to face that, as I allready had what every one wanted!...So that meant wanting to do something that others would not try. Something different...
...So I joined Special Education. Working with special children is an experience in itself.
A whole new learning and period of self discovery, making me what I am now.
Marriage and children too add to the immense store of learning/unlearning...but thats not what triggered this post...this did:
As I stand in the school I have joined as a Spoken English Teacher, the same school my children go to, I think of the experiences my children are having as they now belong to the privileged group.
Their class mates are not as fortunate. Some are first generation learners, some whose parents work as peons/ janitors in my husband's office. I had so many inhibitions while choosing to place my children here. My husband has/had few.
It is my own elitist upbringing I know.
Yet, now as I teach the children, I realise that the need for such schools is so much more than the need for an elitist one. Where children from varied backgrounds learn together and hopefully learn from each other.
I feel sad when a 4th standard student tells me he cannot tell a word starting with the letter "D"(out of fear or inhibition maybe) but knowing that it is a challenge for me to make him move out of his fears and inhibitions (in speaking English), inspires me to find more ways to teach them, as they are truly needful.
My children will surely gain a wider perspective of life and the differences that exist amongst us all. Earlier than I realised it, at least.
Yet I hope that they realise too that having everything does not mean that they do not aspire for something else...
Life has truly been humbling to say the least...
I grew up in a suburban Chennai, and went to one of the most elitist schools that the city could boast of. We were an exclusive group, "privileged' is what we were called.
While growing up the difference in lifestyle between school and home was not something we really gave much thought to. But, yes as we reached High school, I would squirm at my grandparents and their old fashioned clothes or traditions. Trying not to reveal much of how we lived at home to school mates, while at the same time trying to fit into a very Yuppie, very westernized peer group. George Michael and Jeans were sacred words that I repeated to myself, trying to understand who and what they were!!
It appears in retrospect that I did myself a very good turn by changing schools for the 11th and 12th grade. I joined another school in order to score better marks, and my parents just went along with me, not having much of an opinion on this at that time. I did do better, and I now know I also did better for myself, as I got a chance to move around with friends who were more similar to me and my back ground than I realised at that time. Paving the way for my "unsnob-itising"!!
College is always a golden period, where one gets a chance to really explore and expand oneself. Again I see that, in retrospect, I moved away from belonging to the "privileged group", to being a face in the crowd, albeit one who wanted to make her mark (well I have always been that). But I was and saw that moving/being with people who were not as fortunate as me, in terms of having a wholesome family life, a very fortunate lifestyle, and generally being provided with whatever I wanted...meant...that they all had to struggle to make choices that would carry them a step ahead of where they already were.
But then I never had to face that, as I allready had what every one wanted!...So that meant wanting to do something that others would not try. Something different...
...So I joined Special Education. Working with special children is an experience in itself.
A whole new learning and period of self discovery, making me what I am now.
Marriage and children too add to the immense store of learning/unlearning...but thats not what triggered this post...this did:
As I stand in the school I have joined as a Spoken English Teacher, the same school my children go to, I think of the experiences my children are having as they now belong to the privileged group.
Their class mates are not as fortunate. Some are first generation learners, some whose parents work as peons/ janitors in my husband's office. I had so many inhibitions while choosing to place my children here. My husband has/had few.
It is my own elitist upbringing I know.
Yet, now as I teach the children, I realise that the need for such schools is so much more than the need for an elitist one. Where children from varied backgrounds learn together and hopefully learn from each other.
I feel sad when a 4th standard student tells me he cannot tell a word starting with the letter "D"(out of fear or inhibition maybe) but knowing that it is a challenge for me to make him move out of his fears and inhibitions (in speaking English), inspires me to find more ways to teach them, as they are truly needful.
My children will surely gain a wider perspective of life and the differences that exist amongst us all. Earlier than I realised it, at least.
Yet I hope that they realise too that having everything does not mean that they do not aspire for something else...
Life has truly been humbling to say the least...
Liked your write up.There is so much to learn from when you work in such an environment. I too work in a school for underprivileged children. Just an honorary job and it gives me so much pleasure at the end of the day. Every single day is a learning process for. Satisfaction is my gain.
ReplyDeleteYou are indeed doing a great job.
very interesting post, Sowmya..... it puts into a nutshell, my thoughts over the past few years....which i have never spoken out aloud...
ReplyDeletewhile looking for a school for samhith, i had the same thoughts..... my school wasnt elitist, but it had people just like me...even then it took me time to fit in....
the place where samhith goes is now one of the most elite schools in the area.... while i didnt really want such a school for him, my choice has been limited by the options, esp the teachers and the kind of syllabus followed......unfortunately, the normal schools are all the usual state board places, filled with teachers encouraging children to go for coaching classes, asking parents to do the projects for their children and so on..... i am paying a hefty price, both literally and figuratively, for choosing a school which lays importance on all round development and sensitive teachers.... unfortunately this is the situation in most places today.....
and my biggest regret is that he hardly gets to mix with others like him or below him.....most others belong to rich families, and splurge happily.... and it is a constant battle to teach him to value things and appreciate small things......
can write forever on this .... should do a post sometime on this topic!
Oh! george michael, We friends have crooned his song careless whispers on college day. Thanks for reminding this incident.
ReplyDeletea very great u turn indeed, SSS. From one of the elitest school to a school where the children of janitors and peons study. These children go through a lot of hardships in real life and so there is a lot of life skills that we/our children can learn. Like elitist school children they need no life skill classes. I keep telling my children that Kalpana chawla and kalam came up from humble schools.
Thanks Anu/Asha and Gouri...
ReplyDeleteI must thank my husbands job for exposing me to such situations...I am truly thankful.
I am sure if I was in any metro I would have put my children in an elitist school...yet I do have my anxious moments...and how this will predict for the future....
Anu..you must write it..waiting to read your thoughts!
Sowmya, a very good post ! I have studied in both elite and non elite schools and I faced the difficulty of blending in the elite one from a non-elite. At the end, I dont think i really blended, but did manage to make my own corner and a couple of friends who are friends for life.
ReplyDeleteWhat you say is so true.
And seeing others less fortunate will make your kids realize how fortunate they are !